I Caught a Phrase that Redeemed my Day!

I found bushes that were budding already - in January!  It made me think of my confusing day, and the surprising phrase that caught my attention - and changed my day!


"Open and Affirming"... that's what I saw on a church banner sign the other day.  So I challenged myself to see how recalling that message might impact the way my day went.  The first thing it made made notice was that thusfar that day, I had been pretty me-focused and was yelling at all the drivers and people around me, in my head, of course.  I was maybe not in the most positive of moods, and that always makes me mad.   So I kept up with the mantra "open and affirming."  This served as kind of a tool to flip negatives into positives...

So I noticed that I seemed to be criticizing things and people with whom I came in contact, almost out of a knee-jerk reaction.    Have you ever been like that?   (My mother would tell me I must've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.)    So, I allowed myself to say (at least in my head) any of these not-so-positive things I was thinking about whomever or whatever, so that I was really paying attention to what I was feeling and thinking.  This also gave me pause to evaluate those thoughts and feelings, and try to determine how I could 'flip' them to be more positive, or find the positive kernel within the thoughts or feelings.    

• First of all, I was dropping almost everything I touched (even more than usual)! Well, soon I found myself laughing at it, and myself, opening up to finding the entertainment value in my klutzyness, as well as affirming the fact that I still was able to bend down and pick those many things up.  Maybe my body was crying out for exercise, and this was the only way it could get my attention. 
• "Hey, why did that light have to change before I could get through?! Not fair!" ........... Because I was already running behind, due to my own choices, and didn't like that about me -why be open about that? - much more fulfilling to blame (rather than affirm) some inanimate object, right? 
•  or  "Hey, what a Jerk! You cut me off!" - typical driving grumblies. Again, with this non-affirming outburst, I notice this attitude of  'the world is against me today!  Poor me...' and so on' ...  After all, how do I know that person wasn't in need of getting to the hospital to be with a dying loved one, or worried they'd be late for a meeting, and if that happened they knew they'd be fired? or something worse...Be Open?.   
• or " It sure seems like so-and-so is putting me down, or jerking me around. What's with them? Where do they get off?!" ....    Evidently, I was not being very 'Open,' and definitely not very 'Affirming.'  I was puzzled by the way this person was acting, and after I got it out of my system, voicing to myself what initially came to mind for me, I began to see the situation from the other person's point of view, and opened myself up to her reality, and to her vulnerability.   It always amazes me that when I take the time to see from another, antagonistic person's point of view, looking past the red haze of my own emotions, I always seem to find a very down-to-earth, real person who hurts just like the rest of us.  I much prefer treating others with the respect and kindness that all people deserve.    So when it gets right down to it, I was bothered by the ugly way this interaction was making me feel toward another person.    The truth for me, if I were to be open, was that I needed to be positive and affirming to this other person, no matter what, in order to live with myself.   And so within this affirmation was the key to freeing me from my 'not-so-very good, awful, poor-me, wrong-side-of-the-bed' day.

Seeing through the tangle of wacky emotions and outbursts that can bind up our not-so-good days can be somewhat difficult, we certainly can do it.  Flipping the switch from darkness, or cloudiness to letting the sunshine in is really as easy as catching a helpful phrase, or changing the way we do any one thing, ever so slightly.

What might be a short phrase, or mantra that YOU 'caught' recently, which made you approach your day differently?      How was your day different?       What can you create that will remind you to 'flip the switch' the next time your day is not going the way you would like it to go?

A 2012th Chance to See Life's Golden Side

It's 2012!    What I love about special dates like this is they always offer opportunities to start fresh - reflect on what works and doesn't work, re-group, re-focus, and move ahead again in the direction you really want to.   Don't you just love second, third, two thousand and twelfth chances?    There is so much hope!    There is the challenge to begin to look at things from NEW and different perspectives, instead of the same ol', same ol'.   I absolutely love seeing things, and life, in new ways - what could be more fun and refreshing?

In fact, on a recent 2012 hike, while I was pondering the New Year, I was feeling a bit down on myself.  I don't always like the way I look to myself.    I was wandering through the straw-colored, dried out grassy, brown fields, bemoaning the lack of winter white which usually covers up the ugly death of late Fall.    I was allowing myself, in the spirit of my surroundings, to wallow a bit in the feeling of ugliness.  I looked carefully at a clump of dried grass, noticing its straw-like quality, and it brought back memories of my beloved uncle, now in heaven, who used to tease the little-girl me, by asking me how come my (very thin, fine) hair always looked like straw.   It was our fond joke, and I loved my uncle dearly, especially his teasing nature.   But, as you might have experienced at one time or another, my little-girl mind encoded it somewhere into the back of my brain as 'something wrong with me.'      Wouldn't you know that I would get stuck on that part of it, instead of the loving relationship, in that moment.


But as I continued hiking, and surveyed my surroundings more closely, I noticed that I was floating in this field of "amber waving grains," ... the sunlight illuminated the beauty of these 'fields of gold.'   (I often hear snippets of songs in my head, that better describe any given situation, don't you?)  Looking at these dried autumn grasses in this new light, they glistened, and shimmered, danced in the breeze, whispering promises and potential.    I was very clearly reminded that even the things we perceive as ugly, negative, dead can be seen to be life-giving, beautiful, if we but open our eyes to let the sunshine paint glowing brightness.    It's true of myself, too.    Whenever I focus on the 'unflattering' picture in my mind of how I must look to the world, I also know, deep down, that I could just as easily sift through all those photographs in my mind (or that really exist) and find an equal (if not greater) number of 'flattering' photos, that really project more of who I really am.    It is that incomprehensible tendency to somehow more readily see and accept the unflattering, critical portraits as being me, rather than allowing myself to really see those more positive and beautiful images that reflect the true me - positive and empowering.


So this 2012, I am making a concerted effort to mentally (and perhaps physically) 'un-tag' those more criticizing images of who I am (those in my mind, as well as those on the web or in concrete photos), as my daughter taught her social-network semi-literate mom she could do, and 'tag' only those images that show the real me in fine, golden, brilliant and shining form.   I think I will create a 'Vision Board'  that proudly displays all the empowering images of myself, so I don't forget who I really am.

Imagine that - a little self-esteem message emerges for me from the very 'brownness' of our winter landscape.


What would YOU like to look at from new perspective, in different light this new year?


What would it take to see your own self in golden, brilliant, shining light?


What difference might that make in your life?

Where Does the Blind actually Lead the Blind?

I challenged myself to a very different experience today... I went to my aqua aerobics class this morning, with my favorite instructor (she has a great sense of humor and fun music choices!) as I often do on Tues. mornings, but this time my mind created a challenge for me, off of my own more tuned-in powers of observation.   I have always admired this particular woman in the class, whose upbeat sense of humor and over-all good nature seem to beam brilliantly, despite her obvious impediment of being blind.    I am in awe of how she can negotiate her way by herself, independently taking care of finding her way and following all the verbal cues of the water instructor.

So I decided to put myself in her place, so to speak, and only to a point of course, and I closed my eyes and tried to follow the class.   I listened as intently to the instructor's cues, and though I thought I was paying close attention, I often found myself starting the exercises one way, but soon changing my actions as I figured out what she was really telling us to do.   It is so intriguing how my 'listening' wasn't really as good as I thought it was.    I would follow her cues as I understood them, only to realize that I had not interpreted it correctly at first, and them had to adjust.   Sometimes I just assumed I knew what she wanted us to do, and only after needing to rely solely on what I heard in order to accomplish the moves, I would let go of my assumptions and 'listen' more intently.   I was slower to accomplish what she was telling us to do, because I found myself constantly readjusting to some new piece of information I had just noticed.

I felt like I truly was in a shadow world.    Eventually, true to my sun-loving nature, I found myself turning toward the corner window where I could feel the sunshine.   There were 7 posts in the window and it curved in an arch. ( I peeked.)    As I faced the sun every once in a while I would lose the sunshine, either behind a post or behind the top arch of the window.   This made me experiment with moving my own body to try to recapture the sunlight.    It fascinated me to notice how each subtle movement changed the feel of the sunlight, and sometimes tiny movements were enough to reclaim the sun, while other times I had to work hard to find where the sun had gone.    It was a fascinating dance.

I was in deep water... I like to do this class in the deep water, so, since I'm not anchored, I would often find myself moving through the water as I did the exercises.   I like this feeling of 'dancing,' but noticed the extra challenge it offered by needing to try to avoid other people or the edge of the pool.   I was amazed that I couldn't always tell where I was in the pool, and a few times came quite close to bumping into other people.

All in all it was a fun experiment, and gave me even more respect for this wonderful blind woman of character.

Then I paid closer attention to how the rest of the day progressed, maybe because of this experiment. I have heard that it is good to change the way in which you do something, some small thing, so that you are out of your comfort zone and calling upon other senses and skills to manage.    Like maybe write with your off-hand (for me the left one).    I remember even seeing in a movie once a man who used a blindfold while he was eating, as a way of losing weight, causing one to pay closer attention to the taste, smell and feel of the food and one's reactions to the food.    Well, the rest of my day was amazing - who knows, maybe because I 'mixed things up' a bit.    I enjoyed my colleagues company so much more, noticed more affirmations come my way, found myself more open to new changes, and so on....

I remembered a photo I took  a few days ago, before the snow, that was really quite striking.   It was really quite surreal  -  "do do do do" - because it so perfectly matched my experiment with darkness and the sunlight and seeing things differently.

What if you were to do one ordinary thing today, in just a slightly, but very awkwardly different way?        


What would it be?      


What might you learn from the experience?     


How would it affect your day? 
Your frame of mind?    


What insight might you stumble upon?


As for me, this is an experiment I hope to repeat quite often, and see where it leads me, and toward what new insights. This blind woman lead me to see things in new ways, and that is one of my favorite things to do!       

 Have Fun!   

A piece of wisdom hidden within an action movie?

I was at a movie the other day, when I was reminded of a quote I heard somewhere once:  "Life is what happens when we are busy making plans." Strange, isn't it, where and when these insights show up?   There I was, engrossed in the latest "Sherlock Holmes" movie, when it hit me.  I was told by some who had seen the movie that it wasn't worth seeing, but I went anyway, and I still liked it.  I was drawn in by the fast-paced adventures, a bit of the comedic entertainments, but mostly by the incredible special effects.  At first I had trouble following the effects, as they were fast, and choppy, and there was an incredible amount of movement, the kind that those with a tendency toward motion sickness (like me) usually try to avoid.  But I steeled myself, stuck with it and was fascinated and mesmerized by what I saw and heard.  Often they reminded me of the cogs in a machine, going through their patterns to effect some action.

The most fascinating special effects were those where Holmes was thinking about what he should do in this scenario to extricate himself from the imminent danger.  It was meant to be a split-second of pre-planning racing through his mind, thus the speed and motion of the scene.

What I found most intriguing, though, was the fact that nine times out of ten his "pre-plans" did not work out as he planned, thus leading to surprise, chaos, and of course, near-deadly consequences.  Yet Holmes still managed, somehow, to get out of his mess.

So I found myself pondering this idea... sometimes I think I know what I should do in a given circumstance, but something gets in the way, making me think things are thoroughly messed up - "That wasn't what I meant to happen."   But when I step back a bit, and take in the whole picture, and let go of how I thought things should  have gone, I am able to recognize something wonderful, perhaps even better in what actually happens. Amazing, isn't it?   How has that happened in your life? 

Funny, when I passed my refrigerator this morning, a magnet my daughter had given me happened to catch my eye, and it said essentially the same thing:  "Sometimes, on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one."  Maybe you have experienced a bit of this?


When has "Life happened" while you were busy making plans, and surprised you with something wonderful or fascinating?    Where have you discovered a better dream while you were on your way toward what you thought your dream was?      How open are you to recognizing and just embracing whatever shows up for you in any given moment?

The Trail Less Traveled Calls to Me

So today I decided I would not 'plan' my day, I would just see where it would take me and what I might discover. I just went with the flow.  So I didn't do any "have-to's."  I got up when the sun brightened the day, not with any alarm clock. I ate my breakfast while reading my novel, then switched to my recliner chair to continue my date with my good book. Sometimes I just let myself drift off into a comfortable doze.  When I felt like it I went to the computer and did some household administration... because I wanted to.  Then, all of a sudden I had an urge to go to a movie - something I had not done for quite some while, and so I did - complete with popcorn. Afterwards, I thought I was on my way to the club to work out, but instead I stopped off at a park nearby, for an unplanned hike. The weather was so nice - uncharacteristic for December - that it invited me to enjoy the outdoors, even though I wasn't even really dressed for it. But since I almost always have my hiking shoes in the car, I was off down the trails in no time.

It was here at the park hiking that I had my biggest insight of the day. While taking in all the natural beauty, going along trails I was well-familiar with, I noticed a trail I had not seen before. It was cut in anticipation of snowmobiles, though now, without any snow, it was fair game for me! I was called to explore - one of my happiest states of being! The uneven footing was kind of fun, an it took me through a part I had never been through before. Soon the trail ended at the lake, and I wasn't inclined to walk on the lake just yet, so I was faced with a decision:  to take the regular, well-groomed hiking trail - so much easier traveling;  or to follow the trail that was calling to me - the more natural, deer trail, through the thick of the woods. I love the truth that we are always at choice!  I chose the path less-traveled (by humans.)  It was exhilarating!  To think that I was kicking through the leaves in December!  But it wasn't necessarily the EASY trail. Just as this trail required me to work harder to negotiate my way, it also offered more excitement. I love being able to enjoy a completely different view of the woods that is afforded by wintertime - when we can enter parts of the woods usually off-limits.  Just as this trail was filled with obstacles - thorny vines; thick, dark branches that seemed to be a solid barrier to my progress, only to be easily pushed aside to open a clear path ahead for a bit... just as I found surprises around every corner and over every hill;  just as there were lots of ups and downs, struggles and delights ... I realized that I was also faced with the choice between such options in my real life trail. It is always tempting to take the road that appears easier, but when I am called toward a path that offers new perspective, new insights, moving toward my dreams, I have to challenge myself to answer the call, to accept the challenge, to grow in the skills needed to negotiate a new path, even through obstacles and barriers. I am blessed in my new real life adventure with a little bit of the 'old,' 'comfortable,' 'well-loved,' as well as the challenge to work hard, figure out how to overcome whatever might seem like a block, and  build my dream work.

Where does your mind take you on your 'unplanned' day? What surprise trail have you gone down recently? What is something that calls to you, a big dream of yours, yet seems so difficult to follow? How do you negotiate the tougher trails? 

Counting My Blessings

It seems a good time to take a moment to just acknowledge, recognize and be grateful for all our many blessings.  This season has so many rich images to remind us of those things...

baking Christmas cookies with my daughter,...   the "Santa Coming down to the Chimney" toy that always reminds me that my Dad is present, saying "Ho,Ho, Ho," and "Oh, what's that sound,.. is that Santa's reindeer on the roof."....   the candle scent that always reminds me to relax a little and take in the peace of the moment, ...  cinnamon-scented pine cones in a basket filling the air with sweet comfort, mixed with colorful glass ornaments that tickle memories of past Christmases, and a Gratitude Journal complete with pen, just waiting to be written in again, ... my favorite Jingle Bell earrings, lovingly repaired by my daughter with brand new tiny red bows, so I can frivolously jingle for all to hear, ...   the 'Buddha Board' to write and draw on with water and enjoy only until the image disappears as the water dries - a reminder not to get too attached to 'things,' .....

Then there's the Christmas tree itself, ... sometimes I let it take all of Advent to decorate the tree, little by little, savoring each memory and a few peaceful moments.  Other times we spend one blissful and festive night to put up the tree, add the lights and garlands, then each ornament, one a t a time, with Christmas music and wine or tea.  Occasionally we add something new to the tree - this year it was a few new strings of lights (don't you just hate it when one string of lights just doesn't work?) to brighten up the scene, one white and so brilliant, the other those new LED colored lights that are so much brighter and just 'pop!' And then there is the feeling that bubbles up inside when we see all those carefully (or not so carefully) wrapped packages under the tree, each concealing some wonderful surprise and convey the certainty that we are each loved for the unique individual we are. There is a sense of wonder and anticipation that just can't be beat.



And the hearth is alive with the Christmas spirit, too. Fun depictions of Santa in the unusual poses of a relaxing fisherman (so much like my husband), .... stockings dangling, waiting to be filled with expressions of love, and representing all the important people in our little family, ... a hand-painted plate commemorating the little ones nestled snug in their beds, with visions of sweet things dancing in their heads,...   the Elf Hat just waiting to adorn the head of whoever is this year's 'elf' who passes out presents to everyone, ... and the Nativity scene, with hand-made stable, straw, Mary, Joseph, and soon to be Jesus, as well as shepherds, animals, and on their way, the visiting Wise Kings - reminding us of the real reason for this season - Love being born anew into the world and our lives, to be made room for, and cherished, and worshiped, and shared.

All of these things are representative of the important people and relationships in our lives, the heart of this season of Love.

What are the Blessings in your life?  

I Love My Family & its wacky Adventures!

Wow! What could be better on a Saturday night in our 'brown' Christmas season, than having a Gingerbread House-Making Contest!  What an awesome idea! Of course the fun happens when you get to see everybody's own unique personality come out - and I'm not talking just in the finished product. From the very get-go the personalities are flaring! "Competition" is a word that's almost a drug for my husband. And the contest is on... Originality is rampant... And, by the way, nowhere in our rules does it say that the decorations have to be edible. Of course the first one to make that discovery was Ken. And then I promptly stole the idea!

And eldest daughter of mine is very precise, regimented and logically methodical in her approach - and so was frustratedly yelping and flailing her arms as her very correct 'house' kept dissolving into a pile of rubble. Bri won out, though, as first she managed to construct her house upside down, until it fell again, and this time pieces broke and she was forced to go the 'free-style' approach. Being the smallest person in the group, it was fitting that her finished product also was the smallest, but with lots of pizzazz and color and uniqueness, just like its creator. 

Back to my husband... he created the cutest, most original, and colorful house, and of course he finished first. He only cheated a little bit, though, with one side completed missing a wall and being held up by saltine cracker 'bricks.'  It was amazing to look at! And he was so excited that he quickly took pictures of HIS house, smearing the lens of his camera phone in the process, and texted it to his sister for judging - BEFORE anyone else's was finished. It would have been fortuitous if his camera lens hadn't been so smeared that his sister couldn't even make out the picture - because, by the time we all finished our houses and were setting up for the REAL picture taking, his had  sadly, collapsed into a heap. (see picture below) It was a shame, because it was incredibly cute, just as he was as he quietly worked on his masterpiece, but it never made it to the judging. Ironic isn't it, for Mr. Competition? Just goes to show....

Now, for youngest daughter, our own resident artist, just as expected she worked happily away at creating her art, but also true to Michaela, unfortunate events and forces kept toppling her creations. She is a true artist, though, because each time it toppled she began again, with a new approach, creating new art out of old rubble. The best was her constant giggle lilting throughout the whole process. I must say that she used the added saltine crackers to the best advantage, making colorful 'steps' on the roof - no doubt for Santa and his reindeer, since her daddy had always pointed out the sound of and the tracks from Santa and his reindeer up on our roof, since she was the tiniest wee lassie. 

Our special guest and inventor of this competition, was of course, an architect. Can you pick out his Frank Lloyd Wright-ish design? True to his form he quietly created his structure, step by step, with no collapses, quietly humming and singing along with the Christmas songs streaming from Pandora in the background, totally in his element and happy as a clam. (Does anyone really know how happy a clam is? Must be pretty happy, to have a 'saying' created around him/her!) 

Now some of you might be able to pick out which one I made - a little bit of nature included, and natural elements (ideas completely stolen from others), a lot of color and strange angles,...  It only collapsed once - of course AFTER I became sufficiently smug in the knowledge that I had been working diligently all that time and MINE hadn't fallen.... a quick turn of the tray to get to the other side for the finishing touches, and boom! - both end pieces fall out! I tried to make a swift save, but managed only to 'sort of' push it back together. Ah all in good fun.

Great for creativity, and commeraderie, and laughs and the good cheer of the holidays!  I highly recommend it! Oh and you should have seen the fun mess that we made! Some of US even were decorated! Talk about letting the child within come out and shine ....! Whimsical, wonderful, warm and delightful! Even some subtle lessons of life to be learned, for those who pay close enough attention. May your holidays be as merry and as blessed with love!

What are the activities you do that bring the people in your life together in positive ways? What could you do to spice up your Christmas experience?  I'd love to hear what other people do - we can all learn new ways to enjoy this season and connect with those people most important to us!