Berries, Bugs, Homelessness - Unexpected Surprises

I have been trying of late to open myself up to what shows up for me when I pay attention.      I am coming to find that often the very best surprises can be rather tiny and inconspicuous, or partially hidden, or just unusual and perhaps even a bit out of place.    Take for instance this tiny, but vibrantly colored, startlingly red berries I happened to notice on one of my hikes this past Fall.     I almost stepped on them!     They were tucked away, just peeking out from under the blanket of autumn leaves in my path.     I was stopped my tracks, ..  I left of  kicking through the leaves, .. I was struck by how this tiny splash of cherry-red cheer, lying amid the autumn decay,  could just take my breath away.    It was like this berry wise bunch was shouting to me - "Watch out!  If you go too quickly or carelessly you could miss something - something important, something beautiful, something that could change your way of seeing life, if you let it."     For that tiny clump of drying red berries opened my eyes and my heart that day, to be more aware of the tiny surprises Life has in store for us at every turn, when we least expect it  ...  those hidden treasures, ... those joys, those things that need to be noticed.      

Like branches filled with berries and blossoms, in the desolation of late autumn.        Or a Praying Mantis right on the boardwalk trail in Maryland, ...   or the Deer Paths that become so visible, almost popping out at me, the only things dusted with snow in an unusually snowless winter landscape.     Like throwing dust in the air to see it settled on lustrous strands of spider silk, unveiling the intricate design of the spider's hard work .. art work,  I am so intrigued by these lacy white trails that are revealed in such a highlighted way by the winter's sparse snowfall        - evidence of a whole network of roads used by the quieter inhabitants of this wilderness park.    I feel honored and privileged to be witness to this discrete system, and wonder where it would take me if I explored.    It makes me think of the countless pathways that quietly offer themselves up to us, at various times in our lives.   How many such trails do we really notice?   Where might we be able to travel if we opened our eyes and hearts more to such avenues of possibility?   

And then I am reminded of how this paying attention shows up amidst interactions among people.    Just yesterday, while going about my day's particularly enjoyable work of hosting homeless families overnight for the week at our church,  I had just returned from a grocery run.    I put some dessert goodies for the guests to  include in the lunches they were packing, when one of the moms said, very sincerely and emphatically,  "Thank You."    A few minutes later she returned to again make sure I received her very heartfelt "Thank You. We really appreciate what you offer to us."    Now, that is just not something I expect to hear.     I know our guests are grateful for whatever kindness comes their way, but with their extremely stressful struggle for survival, I just don't expect them to be very expressive of these types of thoughts.    They are just too weary from trying to live and provide some semblance of normalcy for their families.     I was overwhelmed.    Then watching how incredibly compassionate my volunteer coordinator is in her interactions with our guests, always treating them with the utmost dignity, even to the point of affording them the respect inherent in expecting them to accomplish the small responsibilities involved with being a parent, a guest, a human being.    To watch her exuberant exclamation when describing her joy at her own son's enthusiastic anticipation of getting to come and play with the guests children, as he has sometimes reluctantly done in the past.    And  to hear one of the evening's dinner cooks remark to one of the guest mothers about how wonderfully her infant was developing, how well the infant's eyes tracked the movements of people around it -to have taken the time to notice and comment.    The way young high school boys play so rambunctiously with the boys staying with us for the night - boys being regular, ordinary boys, together.     Then there is the attention to detail of the very dedicated women organizing the fun activities for the children; the focused and welcoming chatter of volunteer hosts and our guests chattering companionably at dinner...    These are all the little things that I noticed just in one day at my job.   These are little things that need to be seen, that matter.     These are the little surprises and treasured moments that make a world of difference in the lives of people who are often made to feel that they do not matter.   These are the glimpses I get of the sacredness of life, the gift of human compassion, and the rightness of priorities lived out with commitment, making life and our world a better place.     This makes me smile.

What are the "Little Moments" - surprises, treasures, reminders about what really matters - that you see in your life?       How could paying attention to what shows up for you in your day to day living make a difference in your life?

   

The "20-Second Rule" - Why Not?

What was the 'Good" I found today?  Again, it came hidden within the dialogue of a movie - We Bought a Zoo - you know, the one with Matt Damon?    2 pearls of wisdom hit me in the gut.

The first was the sage advice that "It only takes 20 seconds of courage" .....   The suggestion was '20 seconds' is what's needed to overcome any fear of doing something that's outside of one's comfort zone.   In the movie it was about starting a conversation with someone you were attracted to, but didn't know well yet, or telling someone how you really feel.                               See, it IS sage advice, don't you agree?


I also envisioned another scenario where this advice would be tremendously helpful in my life.   Do you know what it's like when you are trying to accomplish something, like a goal or a dream or a challenge, and you sometimes (or often) get stuck, or stalled out?     Maybe it could be because of something you don't know how to do or are afraid to do, or  don't think you can do.    I think in those types of situations it also helps to tell yourself that it only takes 20 seconds of courage -  to just take that leap of faith, or make that fool out of yourself, take that risk, or try whatever it is you don't think you can do.   If you put enough of those '20 seconds' together, soon you find yourself an hour or day or year closer to that dream or goal,  or past that challenge or wall.   It can serve as sort of a Breakthrough moment, that gets you moving on toward what you really want, or past something you might fear.    That, for me, is a great, and fairly simple thing to remember.  It's kind of catchy - "I only need to get through this next 20 seconds."  That even sounds do-able!  I also like it because 20 seconds is so quick - it is what helps me to make decisions, small or large, in my life.   If I just do it fast, then it's over and done, and I don't have to stay in that uncomfortable place,  and I can't keep thinking about or analyzing or talking myself out of it.   I am going to practice this "20 second rule" this next week.
The other "Pearl of wisdom" from the movie's dialogue, was the very simple question, "Why not?"   For every "Why?" (and I can be very good at asking that question constantly)  there must be a "Why not?"   At least if we ask that question when we come to the "Why's?" in life, we are given the chance to reason through or explore the "Why Not?."   Sometimes that might take us to some real good reason "why," so that the "why not"  comes through loud and clear, and leads us to avoid some potential danger.    At other times, "why" is more of a questioning of our own intuition, our own abilities, or our own convictions,  and can become an "out" for us, so we do not have to go on.    At those times the "why not" reminds me to trust my inner voice and my abilities and convictions enough to risk and believe in myself, opening myself up to the 'potential' of a situation.     I remember that this became sort of a mantra for me the year I turned 50.     When I paid attention to the fact that I had that many years under my belt, and maybe not that same number of years ahead of me to live of my life, then it was really obvious to me - if not now, then when?    I must have let go of that a bit as time passed, thus making the phrase "why not?" shout so loudly at me from within this movie.  I want to live my life more from the place of "why not?."     I believe that will lead me to really live my life, with more gusto, more meaning, more enjoyment, more love.    After all, why not?     I ought to be able to trust myself, my convictions, my intuition and my abilities by now.    I've had more than 50 years of formation after all!     That's plenty of time to complete - or get far enough on to see the beauty - the masterpiece work of art that I am!    I hope you all can see that about yourselves.  We all deserve to live from a place of "Why Not?"!   It's time for me to get back to issuing life the challenge, "Why Not?"!

So,  ... 


What would you like to do in your life with just "20 seconds of courage?"                      How will you make yourself jump into those "20 seconds?"          What Difference   would it make to you in your life?         When  in your life might have you recently been faced with a "Why?"          What would happen if you were to answer with "Why Not?"             How  would it make you Feel?


I welcome any of your own stories, comments.....

Have You Ever Played with the Moon?

Last night I was playing with the moon!    It was almost full, and cast some funny, wild light on the scenery. I always thought that I was a Sun-worshiper, but I think maybe I am really more of a Light-worshiper.  

The past two nights I have gone Night Trekking.    Ever since I was a young girl at summer camp I have thrilled at the adventure of hiking in the dark of night... trying to find my way without the benefit of seeing clearly...  relying on my shadow senses to guide me without accident.    So at the end of two very busy and sometimes frustrating, jam-packed days, that left me with an anxiety level uncomfortably high, I somehow recognized that the air outside was unseasonably warm, calm and soft.   It seemed like this balmy night was whispering to me to come outdoors and let the brightly moonlit evening calm my nerves and refresh my spirit.   Once outside, as I walked toward the trail following the beckoning finger of brilliant moonlight,  I felt my anxiety slide off of me with every step I took.    Soon I could fill my lungs with deep, centering breaths, and I reveled in the new sense of peace and life that filled me.  This is my most cherished method of unwinding and revitalizing - to let nature bathe me in a new, more serene sense of life and my place in the world.

The first night I walked with the brightest of moons, skipping and dancing through its mock daylight.  I chased my shadow, sometimes behind me and other times leaping in front of me.   I followed the spotlight of moonshine, and allowed it to illuminate all the good in life again.   I was in no hurry.   I relished the opportunity to see the night all around me.   At one point the trail passes over a culvert formed by a metal drum catching the rushing water as it swirls through before flowing out the other side.   I was amazed by the idea that here in the middle of January, when the ground was mostly frozen despite the warm temperatures, energy can surge even from under the frozen surface.   Quite a comforting thought for when we may occasionally feel frozen in spirit, to remember that there is a strong current of energy always flowing underneath the icy surface, and we can tap into that hidden energy if we pay attention.   At that moment I actually physically felt my tension melt away, replaced by a wonderful resilience and appreciation for life bubbling up.

Last night was a bit different.   This time when I started out on my hike, the moon was still stuck resting on the horizon, low in the sky.    Because of that, the beginning of my walk was very dark.   I couldn't see anything, but resisted the urge to turn on my headlamp.  The moon was already working its magic on me, as I truly was transported back to the exhilaration I felt as a child, gleefully negotiating my way through the pitch black night, carefully feeling out each step for bumps and lumps and trips and traps.   There is something incredibly freeing about letting go of all assumptions and tuning in ever so closely to invisible clues and sensory guidance, to triumphantly find my way!  That night I was forced to focus - a skill I most certainly need to constantly work on.  I focused on the feel, on the sounds, of the heady aroma of the decaying grasses and leaves, on where the mud and ice were, on stepping over or around as my feet or senses guided me.   I am always amazed that I can come out of these hikes having stumbled and tripped  less  than on the hikes where I can use my eyes!   Even when the moon rose higher into the sky, it served to focus my attention.   I was aware how the moon played with my shadow, strobed as it danced in and out of the trees that usually form an insulating tunnel,  and pushed me onward.  Where the trail crosses a huge, open field, I stopped to take in the stars winking in the night sky, and scoured the sky for shooting stars.   To my astonishment I counted no less that eight airplanes, with red, green and white lights twinkling as they criss-crossed the bright night sky. I was tickled to join in this playful dancing in the darkness.    I was in my element, energized by the Lights - truly a Light-worshiper.

And both nights I returned in a wonderful mood, having reveled in the power of the brightly lit night, allowing it to soothe my spirit and fill me with life and goodness again.

I highly recommend Playing with the Moon and Stars as a mood enhancer, a life 're-set' switch.


What is it that refreshes your spirit?      What has the power to soothe you when anxiety builds up?        What have you found to work when your mood needs to be 're-set?' 

Winter "Walk and Talks" are Wonder-full!

So I discovered why I enjoy "Walk and Talks" so much...  yesterday I got to hike in the park with my husband - a rare treat!   And the whole time we were walking we were talking. We thoroughly enjoyed our natural surroundings, and the unearthly warm weather (in January!), but we also just rambled on about whatever entered our heads.   On this particular outing we spent only some of the time solving all the worlds' problems, or our own issues.    But instead, most of our ramblings not only took us through incredible 'Autumn  in the middle of Winter' scenery, but we randomly "wondered."    We wondered about frivolous things like where sayings like "Night Fall" came from - shouldn't it be more like 'Sun Fall,' or something?    This is especially fun with my very 'visual' husband, who never ceases to amaze me with the way he sees things ...  it is 'Night Fall' because it was like a 'Knight' falling off his horse, and having his lights got out (oh, that was just a joke, but a good one!), or a curtain of darkness closing in over the day could make it seem like Night Falling on top of you.  

We continued to muse in this amusing way, and wonder as we wandered.    So, I deduce, "Walking' amid the wonder of Nature, opens our minds to new thoughts, ideas, wonderings, questions, and even moves us toward unintentional insight or wisdom in ways that just sitting in one place, by ourselves, thinking, sometimes cannot.   And 'Talking' with someone else can be very entertaining, playful, quite supportive, or even amazingly helpful in figuring out 'problems.'    How often have you talked through a problem with someone else, and found that somehow you talked your way around to a solution or a better understanding - and not always because the person you are talking with is a genius, or wonderful counselor with all the answers, either.   Most often I find that the beauty of talking through my issues with another trusted person really is how that person's openness, and perhaps new perspective, opens my own mind to new possibilities, or to see things I had not seen before, so that I am astonished at how I have circled around to figuring a problem out ALL BY  MYSELF - sort of.   How often have you gone through this process, without the other person really saying much at all, but still you end up with a solution or understanding?   So you see, we need other people to help us wonder, muse, figure life out, but not to do it for us.

And all of this mind-wandering seems to work so much better when surrounding by the creative energy of Nature!   I will continue my 'walk and talks.'   Sometimes I will be Walking by myself, through Nature's bounty, listening for the new insights and perspectives of the Spirit or the Universe, as I Talk to myself.  Other times I will have the privilege of Walking with another person, listening for the wisdom of the Universe or Spirit to speak through that space to freely speak whatever's on our minds, or through the supportive silence of the other's encouragement, or through the fresh perspectives of this listener's responses.  

Do you see now how "Walk and Talks' are the perfect venue for Life Coaching?    I would love the opportunity to enjoy a 'Walk and Talk' life coaching session with you!    Please,  make sure you avail yourself of whatever "Walk and Talk'  opportunities show up for you, especially in the midst of God's grand creation.    What a positive energy we can tap into!

I Caught a Phrase that Redeemed my Day!

I found bushes that were budding already - in January!  It made me think of my confusing day, and the surprising phrase that caught my attention - and changed my day!


"Open and Affirming"... that's what I saw on a church banner sign the other day.  So I challenged myself to see how recalling that message might impact the way my day went.  The first thing it made made notice was that thusfar that day, I had been pretty me-focused and was yelling at all the drivers and people around me, in my head, of course.  I was maybe not in the most positive of moods, and that always makes me mad.   So I kept up with the mantra "open and affirming."  This served as kind of a tool to flip negatives into positives...

So I noticed that I seemed to be criticizing things and people with whom I came in contact, almost out of a knee-jerk reaction.    Have you ever been like that?   (My mother would tell me I must've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.)    So, I allowed myself to say (at least in my head) any of these not-so-positive things I was thinking about whomever or whatever, so that I was really paying attention to what I was feeling and thinking.  This also gave me pause to evaluate those thoughts and feelings, and try to determine how I could 'flip' them to be more positive, or find the positive kernel within the thoughts or feelings.    

• First of all, I was dropping almost everything I touched (even more than usual)! Well, soon I found myself laughing at it, and myself, opening up to finding the entertainment value in my klutzyness, as well as affirming the fact that I still was able to bend down and pick those many things up.  Maybe my body was crying out for exercise, and this was the only way it could get my attention. 
• "Hey, why did that light have to change before I could get through?! Not fair!" ........... Because I was already running behind, due to my own choices, and didn't like that about me -why be open about that? - much more fulfilling to blame (rather than affirm) some inanimate object, right? 
•  or  "Hey, what a Jerk! You cut me off!" - typical driving grumblies. Again, with this non-affirming outburst, I notice this attitude of  'the world is against me today!  Poor me...' and so on' ...  After all, how do I know that person wasn't in need of getting to the hospital to be with a dying loved one, or worried they'd be late for a meeting, and if that happened they knew they'd be fired? or something worse...Be Open?.   
• or " It sure seems like so-and-so is putting me down, or jerking me around. What's with them? Where do they get off?!" ....    Evidently, I was not being very 'Open,' and definitely not very 'Affirming.'  I was puzzled by the way this person was acting, and after I got it out of my system, voicing to myself what initially came to mind for me, I began to see the situation from the other person's point of view, and opened myself up to her reality, and to her vulnerability.   It always amazes me that when I take the time to see from another, antagonistic person's point of view, looking past the red haze of my own emotions, I always seem to find a very down-to-earth, real person who hurts just like the rest of us.  I much prefer treating others with the respect and kindness that all people deserve.    So when it gets right down to it, I was bothered by the ugly way this interaction was making me feel toward another person.    The truth for me, if I were to be open, was that I needed to be positive and affirming to this other person, no matter what, in order to live with myself.   And so within this affirmation was the key to freeing me from my 'not-so-very good, awful, poor-me, wrong-side-of-the-bed' day.

Seeing through the tangle of wacky emotions and outbursts that can bind up our not-so-good days can be somewhat difficult, we certainly can do it.  Flipping the switch from darkness, or cloudiness to letting the sunshine in is really as easy as catching a helpful phrase, or changing the way we do any one thing, ever so slightly.

What might be a short phrase, or mantra that YOU 'caught' recently, which made you approach your day differently?      How was your day different?       What can you create that will remind you to 'flip the switch' the next time your day is not going the way you would like it to go?

A 2012th Chance to See Life's Golden Side

It's 2012!    What I love about special dates like this is they always offer opportunities to start fresh - reflect on what works and doesn't work, re-group, re-focus, and move ahead again in the direction you really want to.   Don't you just love second, third, two thousand and twelfth chances?    There is so much hope!    There is the challenge to begin to look at things from NEW and different perspectives, instead of the same ol', same ol'.   I absolutely love seeing things, and life, in new ways - what could be more fun and refreshing?

In fact, on a recent 2012 hike, while I was pondering the New Year, I was feeling a bit down on myself.  I don't always like the way I look to myself.    I was wandering through the straw-colored, dried out grassy, brown fields, bemoaning the lack of winter white which usually covers up the ugly death of late Fall.    I was allowing myself, in the spirit of my surroundings, to wallow a bit in the feeling of ugliness.  I looked carefully at a clump of dried grass, noticing its straw-like quality, and it brought back memories of my beloved uncle, now in heaven, who used to tease the little-girl me, by asking me how come my (very thin, fine) hair always looked like straw.   It was our fond joke, and I loved my uncle dearly, especially his teasing nature.   But, as you might have experienced at one time or another, my little-girl mind encoded it somewhere into the back of my brain as 'something wrong with me.'      Wouldn't you know that I would get stuck on that part of it, instead of the loving relationship, in that moment.


But as I continued hiking, and surveyed my surroundings more closely, I noticed that I was floating in this field of "amber waving grains," ... the sunlight illuminated the beauty of these 'fields of gold.'   (I often hear snippets of songs in my head, that better describe any given situation, don't you?)  Looking at these dried autumn grasses in this new light, they glistened, and shimmered, danced in the breeze, whispering promises and potential.    I was very clearly reminded that even the things we perceive as ugly, negative, dead can be seen to be life-giving, beautiful, if we but open our eyes to let the sunshine paint glowing brightness.    It's true of myself, too.    Whenever I focus on the 'unflattering' picture in my mind of how I must look to the world, I also know, deep down, that I could just as easily sift through all those photographs in my mind (or that really exist) and find an equal (if not greater) number of 'flattering' photos, that really project more of who I really am.    It is that incomprehensible tendency to somehow more readily see and accept the unflattering, critical portraits as being me, rather than allowing myself to really see those more positive and beautiful images that reflect the true me - positive and empowering.


So this 2012, I am making a concerted effort to mentally (and perhaps physically) 'un-tag' those more criticizing images of who I am (those in my mind, as well as those on the web or in concrete photos), as my daughter taught her social-network semi-literate mom she could do, and 'tag' only those images that show the real me in fine, golden, brilliant and shining form.   I think I will create a 'Vision Board'  that proudly displays all the empowering images of myself, so I don't forget who I really am.

Imagine that - a little self-esteem message emerges for me from the very 'brownness' of our winter landscape.


What would YOU like to look at from new perspective, in different light this new year?


What would it take to see your own self in golden, brilliant, shining light?


What difference might that make in your life?

Where Does the Blind actually Lead the Blind?

I challenged myself to a very different experience today... I went to my aqua aerobics class this morning, with my favorite instructor (she has a great sense of humor and fun music choices!) as I often do on Tues. mornings, but this time my mind created a challenge for me, off of my own more tuned-in powers of observation.   I have always admired this particular woman in the class, whose upbeat sense of humor and over-all good nature seem to beam brilliantly, despite her obvious impediment of being blind.    I am in awe of how she can negotiate her way by herself, independently taking care of finding her way and following all the verbal cues of the water instructor.

So I decided to put myself in her place, so to speak, and only to a point of course, and I closed my eyes and tried to follow the class.   I listened as intently to the instructor's cues, and though I thought I was paying close attention, I often found myself starting the exercises one way, but soon changing my actions as I figured out what she was really telling us to do.   It is so intriguing how my 'listening' wasn't really as good as I thought it was.    I would follow her cues as I understood them, only to realize that I had not interpreted it correctly at first, and them had to adjust.   Sometimes I just assumed I knew what she wanted us to do, and only after needing to rely solely on what I heard in order to accomplish the moves, I would let go of my assumptions and 'listen' more intently.   I was slower to accomplish what she was telling us to do, because I found myself constantly readjusting to some new piece of information I had just noticed.

I felt like I truly was in a shadow world.    Eventually, true to my sun-loving nature, I found myself turning toward the corner window where I could feel the sunshine.   There were 7 posts in the window and it curved in an arch. ( I peeked.)    As I faced the sun every once in a while I would lose the sunshine, either behind a post or behind the top arch of the window.   This made me experiment with moving my own body to try to recapture the sunlight.    It fascinated me to notice how each subtle movement changed the feel of the sunlight, and sometimes tiny movements were enough to reclaim the sun, while other times I had to work hard to find where the sun had gone.    It was a fascinating dance.

I was in deep water... I like to do this class in the deep water, so, since I'm not anchored, I would often find myself moving through the water as I did the exercises.   I like this feeling of 'dancing,' but noticed the extra challenge it offered by needing to try to avoid other people or the edge of the pool.   I was amazed that I couldn't always tell where I was in the pool, and a few times came quite close to bumping into other people.

All in all it was a fun experiment, and gave me even more respect for this wonderful blind woman of character.

Then I paid closer attention to how the rest of the day progressed, maybe because of this experiment. I have heard that it is good to change the way in which you do something, some small thing, so that you are out of your comfort zone and calling upon other senses and skills to manage.    Like maybe write with your off-hand (for me the left one).    I remember even seeing in a movie once a man who used a blindfold while he was eating, as a way of losing weight, causing one to pay closer attention to the taste, smell and feel of the food and one's reactions to the food.    Well, the rest of my day was amazing - who knows, maybe because I 'mixed things up' a bit.    I enjoyed my colleagues company so much more, noticed more affirmations come my way, found myself more open to new changes, and so on....

I remembered a photo I took  a few days ago, before the snow, that was really quite striking.   It was really quite surreal  -  "do do do do" - because it so perfectly matched my experiment with darkness and the sunlight and seeing things differently.

What if you were to do one ordinary thing today, in just a slightly, but very awkwardly different way?        


What would it be?      


What might you learn from the experience?     


How would it affect your day? 
Your frame of mind?    


What insight might you stumble upon?


As for me, this is an experiment I hope to repeat quite often, and see where it leads me, and toward what new insights. This blind woman lead me to see things in new ways, and that is one of my favorite things to do!       

 Have Fun!